Twitter Weekly Updates for 2009-12-20

2 Comments

1. 

   Aaminah

   December 20, 2009 at 10:45 am

   Bismillah
   Asalaamu alaikum.

   i understand the impetus behind such emails (and other mass ways that are used to convey that sentiment) but i agree (though i would say “pathetic” rather than “lame” because lame has become a very ableist term) with what you are saying. When my son was very very little, we taught him that when he apologizes, he must state specifically what he is apologizing for and that “i’m sorry” means “i will try my best not to do it again”. Neither of those aspects of a sincere apology are present in a blanket “if i have hurt you i’m sorry”. One must be aware of what one is apologizing for in order to truly be sorry for it, and if one can not state what that something is then how can one really be aware? One cannot be intending not to do the same thing again and again if one doesn’t even know what one has done wrong. Even a qualified apology (e.g. “i’m not sorry for what i said because it needed to be said, but i am sorry that i did not say it in a good way and that my delivery of it hurt you rather than helping you”) is better than a general apology. What i think we fail to realize when we make general apologies is that it isn’t really about helping anyone else or admitting that we were wrong, it is more a “feel good” move for our own ego. i think most of us don’t think about that and genuinely don’t reflect enough to recognize it. But a very general apology does nothing more than make ourselves feel like we did a good deed, like we have provided closure… without actually doing anything at all. The person(s) that really deserve an apology certainly don’t feel that there was any closure, any genuine committment to sorrow for having hurt them and intention to not make the same error again.

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2. 

   fahad

   December 20, 2009 at 6:17 pm

   Salam,

   ‘Who will be left to pray for us when we die?’

   Pious children, inshallah.

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