Are you saved?

Are you in tune with your spiritual self?

Are you missing out on centuries of traditional knowledge?

Are you reading the most authentic books connected to the most righteous predecessors?

Are you addicted to numerous sins?

Well then you need “Fill-in-the-blank”, membership/classes/seminars/lectures which are only $19.95 a month/year/day!

(We are rightly guided, but even we have to eat, brother!)

Yes sir, we’ll get you right on track, for a nominal fee! (Oh, make sure you stop paying your fees to those other guys!)

The pay now/donation/form is available on our website!

Sign up today (or risk losing yourself to Hell)!