Where did I go?

A lot has occurred since we last met (as it may be). One of the biggest things is that my wife and I are expecting a baby. Classes started again, and work is… as usual.

The baby has been on my mind and I realized that the children of today will probably have a unique insight into their parents as many parents will have a ‘trail’ on the Internet, as I know I do.

Obviously one reason I stopped blogging is because I got extremely busy with my family life.

Besides that I began to have a distaste for blogging itself. I felt the blog was becoming an outlet and expression for my nafs. Working on and typing out Shaikh Abdul-Qadir Jilani’s (rad) site has imprinted this fear of my own nafs. I often feel I am the young man he talks to. Studying Shaykh Nazim’s work itself has also done this to me.

Who cares what I think about something, except me? If it has any value it is simply because I think it has value, and who am I? If someone else thinks it is meaningful they are unfortunately misguided people, since I am not a scholar nor anything close to the quality muslim I need to be. What I was spewing out wasn’t knowledge but mostly bad interpretations and maybe some links to real knowledge.

The baby has helped me get past that somewhat, in a way I will be doing this for him/her. Another way for my child to get to know me better, maybe see me in a way that they may never know personally.

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Another thing that occurred is that this site got targetted by a lot of spam comments. The site is receiving about 50 SPAM comments a day on various pages.

In a way this is kind of interesting, and to me symbolizes that when you leave something good, bad creeps in to fill its place.

Unfortunately, this has meant I have had to make comments go through an approval process first. I will be visiting my old blogging friends sites and start getting active again inshah’allah.

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see you tomorrow.